Practice buddy

I believe something very important about people. I believe that deep down, most of us truly want to be kind. We want to love and be loved. We want to follow what lights us up inside, and we want to cheer for and support others as they find and follow their own light.

I believe we all want to be brave enough to be ourselves: the real, tender, quirky, sometimes wobbly selves. We ache to trust our own hearts and to love who we are. We ache to feel at home inside our own skin.

But here’s the honest part, my love: for most of us, this takes practice.

When we are very small, listening to our hearts is natural. Children are born with that understanding – bright and clear and steady. But as we grow, the world grows louder. Teachers, friends, television, magazines, and now tiny glowing screens all seem very sure about who we should be and how we should live.

And little by little, many of us start believing those voices more than our own.

We learn that fitting in feels safer than standing out. That being approved of is easier than being honest. But the quiet whisper of truth inside our chest doesn’t disappear. It simply gets more challenging to hear beneath the constant chatter of the world.

Life can be noisy. Expectations are noisy. Comparison is noisy. So instead of asking, “What feels true for me?” it is often easier to look around and follow. Humans copy what others seem to admire and choose what we think will keep us included.

Not because we are weak. Not because we are wrong. But because we are human.

And in trying to protect our tender hearts, we begin building small walls. A brick at a time. Staying quiet when we may want to speak. Smiling when we feel unsure. Nodding yes when we mean maybe, or even no. Each brick makes us feel a little safer in the moment, but it takes us a little farther from ourselves.

The beautiful thing is this: those walls are not permanent. They were built slowly, and they can be softened the same way. Gently, choice by choice we can come back to our hearts. Every time we pause and listen inward again, we remove a brick. Every time we take a breath before reacting, even in a small way, we come home to ourselves.

It takes courage to live like this. It takes practice and time to remove the bricks. And because many of those around us aren’t living this way, it can sometimes feel lonely.

That’s why I’m so grateful we have each other.

We can practice together. We can gently ask, “Did you check in with your heart?” before making a choice or saying something important. We can remind each other that our feelings and desires matter. We can practice being our full selves, not the polished selves or the people-pleasing selves, but the real selves.

And here is something that makes me especially excited: as you grow, and as our relationship grows, this ability to live from our hearts will grow with us. Our honesty. Our bravery. Our comfort in being fully ourselves will begin to affect those around us. Because living a life of authenticity and joy is contagious. It will continue to multiply year by year, conversation by conversation. The safer we feel, the more true we can be and the more love and acceptance we can hold. Allowing those around us to share the truth in their hearts as well.

Our truths might not always align and that’s ok. We can honor our own needs and desires, even when they’re different. If you believe one thing and I believe another, that’s okay. Authentic love does not require sameness. It simply requires respect. We can each live our separate truths and stand side by side with two whole hearts and love and support each other.

There may be moments when we don’t feel ready to share our truth. When we need to hold our feelings quietly and sort them out on our own. We will honor that, too. We won’t push. We will trust that when we’re ready, the door is always open.

Oh, how I look forward to practicing all of this with you.

To practice listening to our truth.

To practice being brave.

To practice loving big.

To practice following our hearts in a way that lights us up — and helps light the path for others.

What a gift to learn to be ourselves, and to love ourselves, together.